Random stuff....

First I feel bad I didn't do as well as I liked when my husband was off of work. That is a bummer. That is going to be my new biggest challenge. I don't know what causes this but I need to figure it out, quick! I have three more days until he is off again. :P

I feel great about my new exercise video. I have used a gym ball/exercise ball before. I even bounced on it during my first home birth! I didn't get how that could feel good until I did it, didn't feel good with the next birth but, they are all different.

Anyway, I used an exercise ball last time I lost weight and the WONDERFUL soreness now plaguing my abs reminded me of just why it worked so well! :) So, today is day two "on the ball" I will still of course do T-Tapp, I am a tapper for life. I just don't think I can be consistent enough to use it for massive weight loss. It keeps my spine in alignment and me out of pain while really just working my body ALL over. But, it is hard, very hard. Not just physically hard but mentally. It takes a lot of mental focus and I think that after three years of chronic stress, emotional eating, and DH and I working through the loss of a child...my brain is plain tired.

What I love about the ball workout is that it challenges my core SO much forcing me to use all those little deep down muscles you don't normally use and at the same time; I find it relaxing This is a big deal and it is almost mesmerizing. I love it, it makes me feel so good. So, when I want to really challenge my mind, body and get major lymphatic pumping and neuro-kinetic flow I will T-Tapp, when I need to relax in my mind but challenge my body to the max as well I will do that with my exercise ball. And when I really just need to MOVE but don't want to think about anything at all too much, maybe I am in a slump; then I will walk, and I will walk every single day (when I get my treadmill in a week or two!) no matter whether I have done another workout or not that day.

Now off the topic of exercise a little for a tad more baring of my emotional soul here. As I worked out today I caught myself in the mirror, that is on the ceiling of our living room.... This was both depressing and motivating, discouraging and encouraging, left me feeling despairingly pathetic and very determined at the same time. I may need to cry a little but then I need to stop and just keep on going....